The First Date
The Do’s
DO always be on time. If you are detained make sure you exchange phone numbers to keep your date informed.
Why: The first date can a nerve racking experience sitting there wondering if he or she is going to turn up is very uncomfortable. Once you get off the wrong foot it’s hard to get back on track.
DO dress to impress. We all know first impressions are everything yet why do so many people make this fundamental mistake?
Why: If you arrive to meet someone for the first time looking like you just couldn’t care your date will assume just that. We are human and actions speak louder than words act like it is important to you and you won’t need so many first date experiences. Men should be clean-shaven and ladies wear some make-up at the very least. Now don’t misunderstand me: You should never misrepresent yourself or wear something that just isn’t you but if you don’t get your first impression right you’ll never get a second chance, and imagine meeting someone you really like and never getting a chance to get to know them. It is one of the biggest mistakes of dating and almost impossible to fix once the damage is done.
DO listen to what your date has to say with mutual respect. Look them in the eyes when you talk.
Why: Displaying bad body language, like looking at your watch or around the room or interrupting is just plain rude. So if your not interested in your date that’s fine but you are both there, both genuine about meeting someone special so try to just have a good time. There should be no excuse to have a bad date if you both have a good attitude. And what’s the worst thing that could happen? You may just make a new friend.
DO Offer to pay for your drink or meal or take it turns.
Why: Nobody likes to walk away feeling used and you don’t want to send the wrong signal.
DO Thank your date politely for coming to meet you. Smile and wish them good luck.
Why: Better to leave with someone feeling positive towards you. Remember they will give feedback to the agency, friends and family and your more likely to attract the opposite sex with sugar than spice!
DO Be yourself:
Why: even though you may be nervous it’s important to be yourself, don’t try to make out that your someone your not. After all if your date doesn’t like you for you then they are not the right person for you.
The Don’ts
DON'T be late or stand someone up.
Why: For everyone who has ever been left waiting for someone to show or who has been stood up surely knows that this is one of the worst things about dating. In fact it’s a major factor for someone deciding whether or not to accept a date with a stranger. And do remember life has a funny way of working what we do to others usually ends up happening to us.
DON'T talk about your ex all night.
Why: It’s not relevant on the first date and certainly not right to cry on a complete strangers shoulder.
DON'T judge a book by its cover or make your mind up that your not interested too quickly.
Why: We all know it takes about 10 seconds to establish physical attraction. Looks are important to all of us but what ends up making a relationship is emotional and mental attraction. Its not always about the looks and whether someone is a size 8 or size 14, take the person for who they are and see if there is a connection.
DON'T leave someone hanging.
Why: If you are interested in seeing your date again let them know. If they are not interested at least you won’t be left hanging. Like wise don’t say your going to call someone if you have no intention of calling them. Nobody likes to be given false hope.
The Phone Arrangement
The Do’s
DO call the lady within 3 days of receiving her phone number at the requested times.
Why: It shows you are reliable and respectful of arrangements and her time as well as instructions.
If you miss someone’s phone call always DO call him or her back.
Why: It is often very hard to make the first call and it could put someone off by having to call 2 or 3 times to make the first date. Men will often not call back if he has left a message and then doesn’t hear from you. He will assume he’ll always have to do the hard work and chasing and this sends out the wrong signal. You are both equals and both responsible for making arrangements.
DO always have 2 or more suggestions of meeting places.
Why: Shows the lady you are capable of making decisions and care enough to have thought about it.
DO be flexible with meeting days, times & places. Work together to find a time that suits you both mutually.
Why: It is unrealistic to assume that you will both have the same day and time free to meet. Be willing to compromise. It shows you are mature enough to respect daily commitments of each individual. Let’s face it everyone’s daily commitments vary and we must not be too quick to assume people’s availability.
DO try to meet each other within 1 week of speaking.
Why: By dragging on the first date can send the wrong message, like meeting someone is not that important to you. If you can’t find ½ hour for a coffee within a week what chance does the next date or date after that have. Should you both like each other you could come across like you are playing games and that this is just not that important to you.
Also whilst someone is waiting to meet you they are often not available to meet someone else and can feel their time has been wasted and opportunities for other dates missed.
The Don’ts
DON’T ask too many questions on the phone. The phone call should not be longer than 10minutes. It is simply a way to set up the first date.
Why: By asking all the basic questions on the phone you run the risk of someone pre-judging you before the meeting. It is easy to misunderstand a person’s answer when they are a total stranger and if you don’t like the tone of voice or answers you may be inclined not to meet. This is not only a waste of an introduction it is also a great injustice as he or she could have been just right for you. And finally if you talk for too long on the phone you often run the risk of nothing to talk about on the first date.
DON’T be vague and disinterested when making the arrangement.
Why: It sets the tone for the date to be negative.
DON’T arrange to do dinner on the first date.
Why: It’s too long. If you don’t like each other it can be a potentially uncomfortable situation.
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